


Binder Pains

by Masterless



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M, Matteo is a deep thinker, Talks about binders, my babies being cute, they're in love goddamnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 19:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterless/pseuds/Masterless
Summary: Matteo and David were laid on the sofa, watching some show on Netflix that Mia had recommended, when David decided that he was going to roll from laying on his side to laying on top of Matteo. The blond accepted it and wrapped his arms around the other boy, enjoying the position he was in. The solid, secure weight of David on top of him was lulling him into a warm sleepiness, and he would have sunken into it if not of David’s sudden shifting. He shifted, pause for a moment, and shifted again. And again. And again.“If you keep moving like that you’re going to give me a boner,” Matteo mumbled, trying to still David with his hands.





	Binder Pains

Matteo and David were laid on the sofa, watching some show on Netflix that Mia had recommended, when David decided that he was going to roll from laying on his side to laying on top of Matteo. The blond accepted it and wrapped his arms around the other boy, enjoying the position he was in. The solid, secure weight of David on top of him was lulling him into a warm sleepiness, and he would have sunken into it if not of David’s sudden shifting. He shifted, pause for a moment, and shifted again. And again. And again. 

“If you keep moving like that you’re going to give me a boner,” Matteo mumbled, trying to still David with his hands.

“Sorry,” David chuckled. “It’s just… my back hurts.”

“Do you want a massage?”

“I don’t know if that would help, but thank you.” He shifted again. “It’s just…” He didn’t really know if Matteo actually wanted to know, but David decided to trust him. “I’ve been wearing my binder for too long, and it makes my back hurt.”

“Binder?”

“Ja.” David shifted to sit up, not caring at all that he was now straddling Matteo’s hips. He pulled up the hem of his shirt slightly and showed off the edge of his binder, halfway down his stomach. “I wear a binder.”

Matteo nodded. “But… what is a binder?”

Snorting out a laugh, David dropped his shirt and smiled down at Matteo, shaking his head. “It’s a compression shirt, it makes my… chest look smaller. It’s… fucking amazing to look down at my body and seeing, at least temporarily, the way I know my body should be. But to get that body, I have to wear a binder, and it starts to hurt after a while.” David sighed. “There are days when I don’t wear it, because the advice is that you shouldn’t wear it every day, and that you should only wear it for eight hours at a time.”

“So… take it off?”

“I will, but…” David shrugged, not entirely sure how to word himself. “I don’t like not wearing it. I like the way I look in it, the way I feel about the way I look. I don’t like the way I look and feel about how I look when I don’t wear it.”

Matteo took his hands in his own and laced their fingers together. He thought for a moment, frowning the way he did when he does think, and David knew he was mulling over the new information. Sometimes it took Matteo a little longer, David came to realise, to take in the small things than the big things. When he found that it had only taken Matteo a day and a half to come to terms with him being trans, David was confused as to why it took him a whole week to call him. It was later revealed to him that it had taken Matteo a week to come to terms with a lot of things. Matteo was still dealing with his own sexuality, coming out to his friends, dealing with his mental state, and realising that he had fallen head over heels in love with David, not matter what his body looked like. David had almost cried when he found out how much was going on in Matteo’s head. He had taken Matteo as he was presented: a lazy yet lovable stoner kid who would probably fail his Abi. He saw the very surface level of Matteo, straight through meeting him, kissing him, and coming out to him. He knew there was an anger inside the other boy, one that rarely reared its head but was ferocious when it did. He knew there was more to Matteo, but he hadn’t known the depths of his mind. That depth, though, amused David beyond belief, because big things meant almost nothing to him, he took such a little amount of time in the grand scheme of things to take in the big stuff, and the little things had him confused for weeks.

“What are you thinking about?” David asked.

“Why make something that’s supposed to help people, hurt people?” Matteo asked. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to find a way to bind without the pain?”

David nodded, thinking. “Ja, but… I don’t know if there would be.” He detached his hands and placed them on Matteo’s chest, and pressed down slightly. “This doesn’t hurt?”

“Nein, it doesn’t.”

“But if I stayed here for eight hours, pressing down like this, it would eventually hurt?”

“I guess.”

“Then there you have it.”

“But… I don’t need you pressing down on my chest for eight hours a day. You need to have your binder to help you feel like yourself.”

Nodding again, David relented the pressure in his palms, but he left his hands where they were. “I know. I guess… they haven’t come up with a way yet. There s surgery, though. That’s permanent and it makes you flatter than binding.”

Matteo nodded in return, though he still had his thinking face.

“If you don’t mind… I’m going to go take my binder off.”

“Why would I mind?”

“Because…” David sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s going to look different. Feel different.”

“I just want you to be comfortable.”

Leaning over, David kissed him firmly, feeling Matteo react beneath him. Matteo’s body always tensed when he was kissed, or hugged, but after a short few seconds, he relaxed and melted into whatever affection he was being given. When David pulled away, Matteo kept his eyes closed, his lips tipped up into a blissed out smile.

“I love you,” David whispered.

“I love you, too,” Matteo whispered back.

Matteo waited for David to come back on the sofa, flicking through Netflix again, having finished the show that Mia suggested. A few caught his eye, mostly because they were recommended by his friends, but he didn’t want to make a decision without David present. He closed his eyes, for just a moment, but he found himself being shaken awake my David, who was looking down at him with an amused smile on his face.

“Do you want to go take a nap?” he asked.

“Nein,” Matteo said, yawning. “I’m good. Are we going to watch something else? Hanna suggested Queer Eye, but I think it was a joke, and Carlos recommended some show called Bonding? I think that’s about bandage. We could always watch Notruf Hafenkante.”

“What’s that about?”

“It’s a police drama. There’s a new case every episode.”

“I don’t really want drama right now.” David laid back down on top of Matteo, trying to act like nothing was different. “Could we watch something calming?”

“Calming?” Matteo flicked through some more shows. “How about… Blue Planet?”

“What’s it about?”

“Uh…. nature?”

David snorted a laugh, shifting his head on Matteo’s chest to get comfortable. “Sounds good to me.”


End file.
